Having doubts
by CullenLover062
Summary: Katniss is having doubts, will Peeta be able to stop her insecurities?
1. Doubts

***SPOILER ALERT*** This story does contain information from all of the books in the trilogy!

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><p><strong>KPOV<strong>

Gasping for breath I pinned myself to the back wall of the hob, sinking to my knees I prayed that the windows covered in generations of cobwebs would allow me to disappear into the dark corner. Greasy sae bustled past me, I knew she knew where i was because she had seen me run in and past her stall but as she pasted she allowed a small flick of the eyes to look at me and quickly away again but carried on without a sound.

Through the window across the room I saw them rushing past and then after a moment or two a few of them must have turned around because now with hands cupped around her eyes Foxface attempted to peer in through the window, her red hair hung around her thin face and rested on her shoulders, and as the sun moved from behind a cloud her hair almost seemed to catch fire. Suddenly the door to the hob banged open letting in a freezing gust of air that rattled through the stalls and gasps of annoyance could be heard everywhere. There in the doorway stood Cato, as tall and dominant as ever and my heart stopped for a second. Closing my eyes I struggled to breathe, but they were forced open again as a small hand slipped into mine.

There sat next to be was Rue, small and so beautiful she seemed to shimmer slightly like she was made of magic. She held a finger up to her lips indicating to stay quiet, and then lifting a sack from in between us she showed a small hole in the wall. My brain seemed to glitch at this, almost not allowing myself to believe it but Cato had begun to work his way deeper into the hob and Foxface too had entered but was climbing along the beams that held up the roof, she moved with such grace it was hard to believe she could be after me.

Rue tugged on my arm once again and began to climb nimbly through the hole, squeezing after her I only just fitted through and as i stood up outside, the spear came out of nowhere and Rue's magic seemed to bleed out of her as she pulled the spear out of herself. I felt myself begin to scream but as I turned to face the thrower of the spear there was nobody there. So i turned back to Rue but she was gone too leaving only the small hole with a small puddle of blood next to it.

Turning again i forgot everything as instead of concrete, rubble and fences i was surrounded by grass and trees and fields and there was Gale lying basking in the sun but as i walked towards him, his face began to warp into something different, and suddenly there was prim lying next to Gale as if she had always been there. Prim sat up and began to wave at me but Gale's arm suddenly flashed out and next a slash across her neck began to bleed rapidly and she gargled something painfully before they too had disappeared and i was left on my own crumpled just outside the safety lines of the already exploded mine with the rain pouring onto me soaking my clothes and hair.

Screaming into the ground everything hurt, everyone I loved was gone. Peeta flashed through my mind and I was angry. Angry because i didn't know where he was, angry because i couldn't focus, every time i focused on him it was like my brain slipped to something else. Sitting up i looked up into the rain and the world around me seemed to be dissolving. Where was Peeta? The floor dropped from beneath me and i felt myself slipping, falling, my hands not able to catch hold of anything to stop me and as I fell into oblivion i called out his name.

"Peeeeta!" I wailed desperately

Suddenly there he was, lying next to me, leaning over me, speaking to me. But i couldn't hear him, why can't i hear him? It's me!I can suddenly hear myself gasping for airand i stop because i realise there is enough air around me and Peeta comes into focus finally.

"Katniss, it was just a dream" he said soothingly pulling me into his arms and rubbing his hand up and down my arm.

I realise I am crying and I sob into his shoulder because I miss everyone so much. I cry for my father taken before I needed him more than ever, I cry for Prim and Rue taken before they were old enough to understand, I cry for Cinna taken for speaking the truth, I cry because the world seems to take everything good possible from the world but most of all I cry because Peeta the man who holds me in his arms every night, the man who is never cruel, the man who puts up with all my insanity and managed to love me through even the government tampering with his memories., well, I cry because I can never give him what he has given me and because i expect he will never know how much I love him.

Pulling me from bed he leads me to the bathroom where he pulls off my nightgown and puts the shower onto a gentle setting. Stripping off too he grabs a sponge and daps at my face with cool water wiping away all of the sweat caused by my nightmare and the red blotches left my too much crying. He rinses my hair and threads his hands through it massaging my scalp, finally he pulls me close and wraps his arms around me letting me know he is always there. We stand like this for at least 10 minutes just letting the water flow around us and holding onto each other because we're all we really have left.

After turning off the shower he wraps a towel around me gently and we walk in towels back to our bedroom. As he dries himself and dresses into simple trousers and t shirt I sit on the end of the bed with my knees pulled up and my arms wrapped around them resting my chin on my knees. I break the silence finally.

"I love you Peeta, so much, more than i can ever tell you. Please never leave me because everything i said in that interview straight after that first hunger games is true now. I can't live without you, I'm not sure I would have been able to ever since those nights in the cave. I was just so blind sighted, so caught up in my own world of survival."

The words which mean so much and encapsulate everything i mean come out as barely a whisper but he hears it and sitting next to me on the end of the bed he holds out his arms and i scamper into the safety of them.

Rocking me back and forth he rubs his hand up and down my arm and i bury my head into his neck.

"Katniss, I know you love me, and i know how much. I see it every day when i make your favourite cheese buns, and when you sit pretending to read but secretly watching me. I'm never going to leave you honey, you know that I gave you my heart a long time ago, you make the world shine a little brighter" kissing the top of my head he stops and looks and looks at me as i lift my head to look at him.

I stare with such hope into his eyes, but breaking the moment a stab of pain hits my bladder and grasping my stomach i moan in pain. Seconds later the look of shock on both our faces turn to bright grins as we realise that that was the first movement of our baby to be. Peeta pulls me closer and with one hand on my stomach he pulls my mouth to his and kisses me and all doubts of anything are gone as I am consumed with the undeniable love of my husband and healthy kicks of my first child to be.

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><p><strong><em>Please review and let me know if you liked it or not! Any criticism will only help my writing in the future! Thank You! (This is just a one-shot!)<em>**


	2. Peeta

**PPOV**

After getting little to no sleep the night before, Katniss had fallen asleep on the sofa next to me, head rested on my knee, arms cupped protectively around her slightly protruded stomach. The kicks of the baby earlier today seemed to have eased her mind and put any fears of being loved behind her.

I know she still has nightmares now about all that has happened to her which isn't surprising considering all she has been through and all that she has lost. In the night she often calls out my name, and after waking up climbs between my legs and resting her head on my chest falls asleep there, because she says she can find me easier in her dreams if she can feel me next to her in reality.

Looking down onto her now, I stroke her cheek and wonder how it is even possible that I managed to be the one she chose. Watching her grow up and meet Gale killed me, I knew that the girls saw him as attractive but everyone was convinced that Katniss was the only girl for him because the only time people ever saw either of them smile was on a Sunday afternoon after they came back from hunting as they would walk through the town laughing and joking with each other.

I would stand in the back room and listen to them barter with my father over squirrels and try to have enough courage to step out into the shop, just so she would notice me or remember when I threw her bread on that rainy night. But how could I, I had thrown food at her like she was no better than one of the pigs, so that it skidded through the mud, and then what had I done? I'd raced back inside to save myself from a beating, leaving her out there in the rain.

Even on return of the hunger games the media had seen it better to portray Gale as the cousin because he was too attractive, which really didn't help with my hope that one day she might fully understand how much I loved her and then when they messed with my memories...I shuddered slightly at the memories of me trying to strangle Katniss in district 13 and trying to hurt her in the capitol. They messed with my head so much for their own means, and it disturbed me to think back to those days.

I don't know how she manages to trust me, trust that if some memory left undisturbed, something tiny that nobody ever thought to bring up was suddenly mentioned, to trust that I would somehow be able to control myself, be able to stop myself hurting her. The thought terrifies me.

Hope for me lies in the baby growing inside her right now, that the love for the baby and the bond it will bring to us making us into a strong family unit will somehow overpower what the Capitol did to me. Katniss begins to shift and slowly her eyes open and look up at me sleepily. Sitting up she stretches and then climbs up onto my knee clumsily, to rest her head in my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her and pull her close breathing in the amazing smell she always carries.

"Why am I so tired and off balance at the moment" she complains into my neck.

I rub her back gently because I know it soothes her, "It'll just be the effect the baby is having on your body" I reply trying not to be patronising.

She leans forward and kisses me gently before withdrawing slightly to rest her forehead against mine and close her eyes. I close my eyes too and concentrate on the feeling of her forehead against mine.

"I can't wait for the baby to arrive" Katniss says in almost a whisper.

I open my eyes surprised at the utter acceptance of the baby, I wasn't sure if she was happy about it or not until now. She's looking back at me with a small shy smile on her face.

"I can't wait either" I reply bringing my hand up to rest on her belly.

Slipping her hand around my neck she pulls me into kiss her again, I'll never forget that first time she kissed me in the cave. Taking me so off guard, at the time it was amazing and I couldn't imagine anything better. But years later after all that conflict is behind us I can tell the difference between the kisses then and her kisses now.

Before, they were exciting and new, but seemed to end a fraction too quickly as if she didn't really want to kiss me. Now they convey love and affection, in the early hours of the morning when she wakes up shaking from nightmares they express safety and after serious conversations they show utter trust that everything will be ok.

Breaking the kiss she pulls away before planting a chaste kiss to my lips again quickly and then smiling broadly at me.

"I think everything's going to be ok you know Peeta" she said decidedly, whilst attempting to straighten her hair. "I thought that this baby..." her hands move down to touch her stomach "I thought it would change things, and that terrified me. But I hadn't really thought about what the changes were" she continued. "But really, this baby is a part of you and me combined that never has to go through anything that we did, we made sure that it had the most perfect world to grow up in." She beamed at me.

"You really are the luckiest baby in the entire world little guy" I say leaning down to kiss her bump.

"Orrr little girl!" Katniss interrupts.

"Or little girl" I agree, allowing once again the smile Katniss always brings, to break through to the surface and it really must be my lucky day because Katniss pulls me in to kiss me again.

Pulling away I let out a contented sigh and leaning back into the sofa remark "I should get you pregnant more often Mrs Mellark!"

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><p><em><strong>Hope you enjoyed it from Peetas point of view!<strong>_  
><em><strong>Also just a quick note... Reviews mean way more than you think they do! If you add me as favourite author please review and tell me why so i can keep up the good work! Thank You!<strong>_


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